Why this post isn’t about jealousy.

I know that I mentioned on facebook* that my next blog was going to be about jealousy. I was in the process of writing said post when something happened this weekend to overshadow all that I had written in my head.

My mother is GETTING MARRIED.

Holy hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I’m in that much shock to leave that much space.  It totally came out of left field.  The best part? She told me in a text message. A FUCKING text message.  I’m not really mad about the text message per se, because most of our communicating these days has been through texting(it’s just better that we don’t see alot of each other).  But seriously, how the hell do you tell your daughter that you’re getting married in a text message? It’s just like something that someone in their early twenties would do. And…she’s not in her early twenties.

It’s also a shock because I had no idea that she was even seeing anyone. Supposedly he’s an old boyfriend from high school, and he lives in Shreveport, Louisiana. When I asked if she’s moving there, she said, “Maybe”. Another shock in itself.

As you can read, I’m pretty freaked out. I’m not really sure why, because I really shouldn’t be. My mother aren’t really close, and I’m always saying how much that I can’t stand her, she gets on my nerves, etc. So the news that she’s getting married and possibly moving should have me on the floor, thanking God that she’ll be out of my hair. And a part of me would love her to get the hell away. And another part is sad.

My roommate, in all her knowing-ness, said that I’m mad for the following reasons:

1. My mom will have managed to get married 3 times, and I’m jealous in a twisted sort of way-She’s right about this one. I hate myself for thinking it, but I’m like, “Damn, she’s had three, and I can’t manage to get one?  This is sad”.

 

2. I’m mad because I didn’t know anything about it-Also very true. I hate being the last to know, and that happens in my family. When I mentioned this to my mom, she’s like, “Well, you don’t tell anything about you to me either”. Touche.

Now this third reason, I’m not so sure about..

3. I’m mad because I actually care about my mom more than I would like anyone to know-Hmmph. My first reaction when she said it was, “You’re fucking crazy”. I HATE my mother, right? She’s been getting on my nerves since practically birth, starting with the god-awful choice of my name (my first name isn’t Nikki, and no, I’m not telling you), all the way up to text messaging me at 3am, telling me not to eat tomatoes(because of the whole salmonella thing).  She’s pushy, rude, tacky, and a down right bitch sometimes.  Sometimes I just want to shake her and scream, “Shut up! You’re making me crazy!”.  But you know what? Depsite all that, I love the crazy old woman.  If I look deep down(and we’re talking way deep down here), I do care somewhat about what happens to her.

So, my roommate’s probably right.

God.

Please don’t tell my mother. I’ll totally deny it.

 

*If we’re not friends on facebook, we totally should be. I LUV facebook. My last name is Taylor. Look me up. And to all you stalkers, you won’t find anything on google about me, so don’t try.*

~ by shallowdeep on July 6, 2008.